how to grow

evil salamander
Feb 10
1 min read

for dummies

Step 1: Find a nice spot in the garden. The more sunshine, the better.

Step 2: Bury your feet in the soil. Just above the ankles will do.

Step 3: Pull up all the weeds within arm's reach (careful not to lift your feet).

Step 3: Call a trusted friend and give them explicit instructions on which days to water you.

Step 4: Take a deep breath, close your eyes, and lift your face to the sky.

Step 5: Wait patiently to take root.

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